


Deathtraps

by fadeverb



Series: Kai and Mannie [17]
Category: In Nomine
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-18
Updated: 2013-08-18
Packaged: 2017-12-23 23:14:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/932214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fadeverb/pseuds/fadeverb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The only thing worse than being assigned to the Vapulan deathtrap project is being captured by it.</p><p>Wait, no. Maybe it's the other way around.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Niele Vs. Technology

Niele wasn't entirely surprised when she woke to find herself chained securely to a chair, all but one of her Essence drained from the encounter with that dreadfully convincing Impudite. The spotlight was unpleasant in her eyes, but not so bright as to affect her ability to scan the room. If they meant to interrogate her, well, she'd taken the classes about how to deal with such an event, and the extra lectures for young Seraphim. Even for one who could speak no lies, there were ways to deal with questioning.

A door opened on the far side of the room, and in strode some demon she hadn't seen during her investigation. Tall, thin, formally dressed. Probably a Balseraph, from vessel-shape and his haughty expression. A young woman followed him, clutching a set of flat panels under her arm, and Niele allowed herself a morbid moment of curiosity as to which of the many methods she'd studied they intended to use on her.

The taller demon stopped a few feet ahead of her, held out a small, square box, and pressed a button. Niele did not flinch.

A light snapped on over the two demons. This was not quite what she'd expected.

"Right, then," said the likely Balseraph. "Tina, set things up." He dropped the box back into one pocket, and pulled out a notebook and pen. Flipped to a particular page. "I have far more interesting things to do with my time, so let's try to get through this quickly, why don't we?"

"What do you intend to get through?" Niele asked, and watched as the smaller demon--Tina--began to unpack the flat set of...boards. And cards. There was a certain fascination to watching Tina drop items repeatedly on the floor in the process of putting whatever-it-was together.

"Standard set of questions." And this was...true. "Now. Let's see. You are a Seraph of Lightning, correct?"

"I am not obligated to answer any of your questions, demon."

"No, couldn't be _cooperative_ , could they," muttered the demon. "That would make things too easy." He flicked the pen across the page. "Quite correct. You have no obligation to answer any of these questions. However, I'm obligated to ask them, so let's do what we can. Role name?"

"I shall not answer that."

"Real name?"

Niele tried to watch his face, but the fascination continued as Tina finally managed to put together...an easel. What looked to be a simple easel, requiring perhaps two steps to assemble, though it had begun to look battered for having been dropped on the floor so many times. "Why should I give that to you?"

"It's traditional for me to refer to you by name. It's in the script." True, and Niele schooled her face into a blank Elohite-worthy mask. The Vapulans were scripting their interrogations now? There was, perhaps, a certain practicality to this, and she wondered how many different scripts there were, and if said scripts had been made modular to accommodate various circumstances and prisoners.

"Niele," she said. "And yours?"

"You may call me Mannie, if you insist on conversation. I'll let you know when I reach the parts of the script where there's space allowed for your witty rejoinders. You may wish to prepare a few now." He frowned, and began scribbling his way through the notebook. "Essence reserves, time of capture, physical condition--are you injured in any way?"

"No," she said.

"Ah. Good. I can skip the follow-up questions. Means of capture, initial behavior, attunements--would you care to let me know of any attunements you have beyond the basic one granted by virtue of your Choir and Superior?"

"I would not care to do so."

"They never do. I don't know why they insist on leaving that question in." He flipped a page in the notebook. "Do you have any questions before we begin?"

She considered this for a moment. "None that I choose to ask at this time."

"I'll be grateful for small favors." Mannie tucked away the notebook, and pulled out a thin metal tube. Pressed a button--

She was glad she hadn't flinched when it turned out to be a laser pointer. "Tina," he said, "first card."

And the little demon, oddly endearing in her fumbling, carefully placed a set of wide cards on the easel.

The first one read, "Welcome to Your Personally Customized Deathtrap!"

Niele stared at the card.

Mannie sighed, and then set his shoulders up straight. "Welcome to your personally customized deathtrap, Niele," he said, and she didn't have to be an Elohite to notice the contempt seeping through his words. "Though it's only a variation on the standard plan," he added more quietly.

"You...intend to explain a deathtrap to me?"

"Yes. Tina, next card."

The second card was a cartoonish design for a basic trapdoor, complete with remote operation mechanism. "To begin with," said Mannie, "the floor beneath you will drop you into the pit below. Next card." A brief moment of fumbling as Tina juggled the two sheets of paper. "The bottom of the pit is lined with spikes. I'm told this is traditional. They are not, however, coated with poison. Nor are they electrified, despite my recommendations, on account of this being, and I quote, unsporting. Next card."

Niele cleared her throat. "If I may interrupt to ask a question?" Though she was curious as to what was filling the spiked pit in the next diagram.

"Oh, certainly." Mannie folded his arms. "I'm listening."

"You are...presenting to me the deathtrap I'm sitting above?"

"Correct."

"Into which you intend to place me?"

"Correct."

"... _why_?"

The demon's expression turned positively irate. "Because I have been assigned this particular research project. Therefore, I /will/ conduct this research to the best of my ability, regardless of my...opinions on the matter. Now." The little red dot swept across the current card. "Shortly after the spiked landing, the pit will begin filling with water. Sea water, to be precise. From these vents here. You'll note that the size of the openings and the water pressure prevent those openings from being a viable escape route, and our last few tests bear this out. As always, we're open to recording new data. Next card, Tina."

"If I may interrupt again--" Niele stopped. "Are those _sharks_?"

"...yes." And that sounded like embarrassment, under the irritation. "As you can see, they enter through these gates, which are only opened once sufficient water level has been reached. This is an automated procedure. While the shark entrances do constitute a valid exit point for the pit, they only lead to water-filled chambers full of more sharks, so this is unlikely to be a useful course of action to the hopeful escapee. Next card."

"What could you _possibly_ be researching with this setup?"

"The viability of deathtraps against celestials," Mannie said.

Niele considered the truth of the matter. "That's...stupid."

"No doubt those who put together the proposal for this project and assigned it to various research groups have data that would prove otherwise." Sarcasm dripped metaphorically from his voice. "Now, at this point these apertures near the top of the pit open to mist acid into the water below. The comparative volumes of acid and water means this is nothing more than a minor nuisance to anyone able to put their head underwater and only raise it with some article of clothing draped above, but apparently acid is traditional. Next card."

"Isn't that bad for the sharks?"

"Quite. Do you have _any_ idea how hard it is to keep this thing stocked with reasonably healthy aggressive sharks?"

"Not without researching the matter, no. Though I would imagine that transporting sea creatures to a land-locked state would require significant resources. Ones disproportionate to the expected results. What kind of sharks?"

"I have no idea. Some aggressive species, judging by earlier tests." Mannie flicked the laser pointer at the diagram on this card. "At this point, the chute aligned over the mouth of the pit--if you look up, you can see it--drops several hundred kilograms of small rocks into the pit, in theory completely burying the person still stuck at the bottom, spiked, drowned, shark-mauled, and acid-misted. In _practice_ , this does in most of the sharks that the acid doesn't. Next card."

The final card said _The End!_ above a flashy stylized sigil of Vapula.

"That concludes our presentation. We now begin the script of villainous banter." Mannie pulled out a set of note cards. "Do you have any last words before you die?" He gave her an arch look. "This is your cue for a witty rejoinder. I can wait if you haven't come up with anything."

"I was spending the time you suggested I use for preparing said witty rejoinders to study the design of this deathtrap. Wouldn't, say, molten metal be more effective than water, as a reliable method of destroying a vessel?"

"Yes. But it wouldn't accommodate sharks."

"It doesn't appear that the sharks are being much accommodated anyway."

"Well. Not very, no. Tina, pack the props out."

The two of them watched the little demon disassemble the easel. It took her five attempts. She scurried out the door, cards and easel in hand, and ran into the doorway on the way out.

"I would hypothesize that someone in your chain of command is holding a grudge."

"You have _no_ idea," Mannie said. He examined his note cards. "This flowchart doesn't work unless you provide some sort of rejoinder, you realize. I can settle for defiant if you can't manage witty."

"May I ask another question, first?"

"Certainly."

"What happens if someone does escape from the deathtrap?"

"Ah. Then we kill that individual's vessel through more conventional means. This is not the sort of deathtrap that is left unattended while I go on to complete my nefarious plan. Certain aspects of tradition were deemed negotiable for security reasons."

"...but not the sharks?"

He sighed. "Not the sharks. Or at least water-faring carnivores; certain variations use piranhas or crocodiles instead." Mannie put the note cards away. "Biology isn't my field."

"Have you ever considered changing your field of work?"

"If you're not going to even try for a rejoinder, I'll mark that section off as 'uncooperative' on the data sheet." He pulled out the box again. "Mind the drop." Pushed a button.

The floor dropped out from beneath her.

Niele threw her weight back, used what friction she could against the wall to slow her fall, and still hit the bottom hard. The chair shattered beneath her, leaving her wrists locked together but the coils of chain around her torso loose. She staggered to her feet, dimly aware that one of her arms was bleeding from the hole where a spike had hit. And such neatly spaced spikes they were, that she could step around them with care.

Water began gushing down the walls around her.

"Isn't it counter-productive to drop someone in a spiked pit and then provide them with a way to float out?" she shouted.

"Yes," said the demon, peering down at her from the hole where the trapdoor had let her fall. She could see him making more notes. "If I may be honest, I quite prefer your idea of molten steel, but I don't think my supervisor would agree to the change."

"Because of the sharks?"

"Exactly."

The water was already up to her knees. High pressure indeed. "I would like to point out to you at this moment the marvelous job opportunities available in Lightning for celestials with a practical turn of mind," she called. "If you would assist me in getting out of this pit no more harmed than I already am, I'd put in a good word for you with the Boss."

"While I appreciate the offer, my current employer frowns on interviewing with the competition," Mannie said. "However, I feel obliged to offer you the same terms, should you be in the market for a new work arrangement."

"No thank you," Niele said, and ducked down in waist-deep water to slam the links of her handcuffs against one of the spikes. "I find my current Superior more suited to my needs."

"I imagine so. You have to deal with all sorts of incompetent idiots in my workplace." Mannie crouched down on the edge of the pit. "Would you mind looking up here for a moment?"

She glanced up into his eyes, hoping he wouldn't notice that the links on the cuffs had begun to break. "Did you need something?"

"No," he said, "but apparently you did. And not what I'd expected." Mannie stood up. "I'll let the automated systems take it from here. If you could chase a shark or two back into their pens before the rocks fall, I'd appreciate that. Bloody expensive, those sharks." And he disappeared from the edge.

Niele twisted her hands free just as the shark gates opened.

In more leisurely circumstances, she would have attempted to spare innocent creatures. However, bleeding and surrounded by aggressive sharks, Niele regretfully sent a burst of electricity running through the water as they approached. Remote Control would have been more useful than Generator at the beginning of this affair, but that was one less thing to worry about.

A hiss of misting acid alerted her to the next part of the trap, and the Seraph ducked down under the water. Stared up at the tiny droplets spattering against the choppy surface of the water. When her vessel couldn't hold out against the need for air any longer, she broke the surface again, jacket held over her head. Gulped air, and dove back down.

The chute lingered silently overhead. Niele suspected it would let loose well before she was within lunging distance of the edge of the pit.

A door crashed open somewhere overhead, and the sound had never been more welcome. She caught the faint garbled noise of shouting through the water, and resurfaced to hear, "Niele! Are you in here?" Ezekiel's voice hadn't hit panicked, but was nearing that point.

"Down here! Hurry!" The jacket began to sizzle above her, and she ducked back underwater to rinse it off, wondered what sort of acid the demon had chosen to use for this purpose.

A moment later the Malakite's face appeared above her. One hand reached down, drew back hastily with a curse as the acid mist hit it. He pulled off his jacket, leaned back down with it dangling, and twitched as the acid begin to prick and bubble at his arm. "Can you reach?"

Niele wished desperately for Essence to throw into the effort, and lunged up as far as she could. Caught the end of the sleeve. Held on for dear life, her eyes closed against the acid, as Ezekiel pulled her up through the mist.

At the edge of the pit, one hand caught her wrist, then her other wrist, and the Malakite pulled her the rest of the way out. She sat at the edge of the pit, shuddering and dripping.

There was a faint rumble from above. And then a mighty whoosh in front of her face as rocks poured out of the chute into the pit below.

"Thank you," she said, faintly.

"Damn insane Vapulans. Are you--you're bleeding, Niele."

She got to her feet with Ezekiel's help, leaning heavily on his arm. More from nerves than damage, she suspected. "It isn't a large wound. Did you see either of them? Two, one a tall man, the other a shorter woman."

"Didn't see anyone here when I arrived. I was more focused on finding you. I'm sorry I was so late, I had to figure out--"

"Don't be." She wrapped her fingers tight into his. "I tried to stall for as long as I was able without raising suspicion, but I believe... He realized I was trying to keep him there, at the end."

"Damn insane _sneaky_ Vapulans who won't stay put to be skewered like they ought--"

She laughed, coughed as a bit of water that had made its way into her lungs found its way out again. "I'm glad you weren't dressed for your Role today. Your usual jackets wouldn't stand up to my weight. Let's go, Ezekiel. We don't know what reinforcements may be returning, and we'll want to call in more support of our own, if the situation warrants."

"You are injured," he said, as if this were more important than the potential for needless danger. "We'll check in as soon as we reach a phone booth, and I'll find someone to heal that for you."

They walked out together through the door he'd kicked down, her hand wrapped tight in his, and a gun held at the ready in his other hand. "Why were they dropping you in water, anyway?" he asked, after checking the hallway for any signs of trouble.

"It was for the sharks."

"...sharks?"

"I'll explain later, Virtue," Niele said. And followed him back outside. It was going to be time to submit another one of the _interesting_ reports, this week.


	2. Niele Vs. Technology, Redux

"So, my adversary. We meet again." Mannie flipped to the next note card. "Your cue for a witty response."

"I haven't acquired any witty responses," Niele said, and tugged irritably at her chains. "I've been busy."

"What, with all that time you had to come up with something? I'm disappointed. Really, I expected more of you, Niele." The demon sighed, and flipped through several more cards. "Well. That invalidates this entire series. One cannot play off witty or defiant remarks when none occur."

"I would have thought you'd be glad to skip ahead, Mannie." She found it strange to be on a first-name basis with a demon, and one she'd only met a single time before, but every second counted when it came to stalling. It _was_ a pity that she couldn't think of anything witty. "Or do you not have anything more important to do?"

"Not since your side burned down that last location. It was determined that this particular not-a-failure-but-a-setback occurred due to my negligence in pursuing the research diligently enough. Consequently, no, I have _nothing_ better to do than go through these scripts with you."

"I shall attempt to think of a suitable response." Niele sorted through her scanty knowledge of appropriate fiction. "If I may quote, 'You're mad! Mad! You'll never get away with this!' Is that sufficiently defiant for your purposes?"

"Quite." Mannie shuffled through the cards. "Ah, yes. At this point I begin the monologue about my nefarious plans, how the world will tremble before me and know the rightness of my power, et cetera, et cetera. As I'm no Habbalite, I'll skip the ranting, and we may simply imagine that it has occurred."

Niele shook her head at him. "Mannie, it doesn't sound as if your heart is in this."

"Would _you_ find this intellectually stimulating?" The demon folded his arms. "If they wanted an _effective_ deathtrap, I could build one. If they simply wanted a method to confuse and terrify a captive angel, I could build that too. But no, they require traditional methods, no matter how inane. I find it difficult to put enthusiasm into this project."

"Though you do seem to be pursuing it...diligently."

"If I'm performing research, I might as well perform it as well as the parameters I've been given allow."

The Seraph shifted in the chair. "Once again, I would like to point out that my employer offers pleasant working conditions, and is highly unlikely to assign you to any research project as stupid as this. Ever."

"So noted. And should I point out that this is the second time you've tried to convince me to switch sides while you're chained up and facing an unpleasant end? If perhaps one you managed to evade last time." Mannie pulled out a note card. "But see who's caught now, foolish angel! You'd dare to challenge the brilliance of the Genius Archangel and his servants?"

"They actually wrote that in the script?"

"Yes. It usually follows a defiant remark about the power of the captured celestial's Superior. It seemed the most appropriate." He tucked the stack of note cards away into his jacket. "I suspect you're stalling again. Any particular reason?"

"Yes," she said. "On another note, it seems cruel to subject crocodiles to this sort of arrangement."

"It likely is. But I'm not the one who argued to include them."

The two of them took a moment to peer over into the crocodile pit. Down below, the animals slept peacefully.

"Have they ever eaten anyone?"

"Well. They did take a hand off of Tina when they were being unpacked. I'm not sure she counts." Mannie leaned back against the wall. "It was hardly worth fixing that loss. I can't see how one-handedness could make her any clumsier."

Somewhere in the distance, an explosion boomed.

"Well," Mannie said. "Either the plasma generator overloaded again, or your friends have shown up. Which means that I'm about to be jumped by angels again, or this entire building is about to catch on fire. I'd rather not wait around to find out which. I suppose I ought to push you into the crocodile pit before I go. For the sake of propriety and all that."

"I'd rather you not," Niele said.

The demon gave her a strange little smile. "Done." And then he walked out of the room, as casually as that.

A minute later, Ezekiel broke down the door, one of the local Windies right behind him. "That way," she said, gesturing with her chin to the door in the opposite wall. "He just left." And the Malakite was off running, while the Windy crouched down to pick the locks on her chains.

When they caught up with Ezekiel, following the disturbance they'd heard, he was standing in a hallway, eyes hazy. "Went celestial," he said, and staggered towards them. "I mean. It did. I did. That. Ow. Kinda heavy-hitter, that direction."

Niele ran to catch him as he staggered. "What happened?"

"He ran! Eventually. Um. Ow." The Malakite gestured vaguely in the air. "Lost. Um. A Force, I think. Feels like. Head's fuzzy. Ow."

His words were garbled, but the Truth was clear behind them, and Niele shuddered. "Right. We're going home _now_ , to speak with the Boss. What kind of Force did you lose?"

"Ethereal? I think. 's okay. Got two left."

"Ow," agreed the Windy, and waved them away, after passing two Essence to Niele for the jump. "Go, get him taken care of. Me and my friends can take care of this place."

"Mind the crocodiles."

"We will. I mean, trust me, baby, we can think of _better_ things to do with crocodiles."

Niele chose not to examine the truth of that statement too closely, and ascended to her Heart. Was relieved when Ezekiel appeared across the room a moment later, and in this form she could see the damage.

It was going to be another week for interesting reports.

She received word that Jean would see her within a few moments of turning Ezekiel over to a concerned Kyriotate with appropriate Songs of healing. Let her wings ruffle nervously, and slithered briskly to the appropriate conference room. Bowed before her Superior.

"Do you intend to make a habit of being caught and put into deathtraps?" he asked.

"No. I'm afraid Ezekiel intends to continue rescuing me from them, given the opportunity. And regardless of the wisdom of such a thing." She let the tip of her tail twitch irritably, knowing full well how much he could read regardless of what her body language showed. "While I didn't intend to be captured again, I did intend to use the opportunity to press certain issues with the demon. I think he might be salvageable. I don't know if I'll see him a third time, though." She ducked her head low. "I may have let my enthusiasm for that possibility overwhelm my good instincts."

"Perhaps. Don't pursue the matter further. If he is a possibility..." Her Archangel made a small gesture with his hand. "There are others better suited to the task."

"I'm sorry, Boss."

"The error was minor. But you ought to show more caution. Don't take matters into your own hands when you ought to call for assistance."

When she lifted her head again, he was gone.

Niele hissed a quiet sigh to herself, and went to see how Ezekiel was doing.

The volume of his ranting indicated a successful recovery, though he'd need time or the Boss to recover that lost Force. She slid into the lounge to find him pacing around the Kyriotate, who'd turned a distressed shade of purple. "I am going to _find_ him and stab him and shoot him and _rip_ those pointy horns right off his green head and--Niele! Are you all right?" All his black feathers had gone anxious and fluffy.

"I'm perfectly unharmed. You're the one I ought to be asking after." A few words connected. "He wasn't a Balseraph?"

"Lilim. Damned insane Vapulan _Lilim_ and I'm going to find him and stab him and _shoot_ him and see if _he_ likes losing a few Forces because next time I'm taking more friends--"

Niele settled down into an uneasy coil. The way he'd said--but she had no Geas settled around her. "Hush," she said. "You have healing to do before that's appropriate."

"I can go back _now_ and find him--"

"Ezekiel, my Virtue, perhaps you ought to make battle plans when you _haven't_ just lost an Ethereal Force."

He stared at her for a moment, and then scratched the back of his head. "Um. Maybe so. But. You okay?"

"Unharmed." She shrugged a ripple through all the length of her body. "Disappointed."

"What, that you couldn't talk it over?"

"Partly that. And." She ducked her head under one wing in embarrassment. "I was looking forward to hearing about the new deathtrap."


	3. Ezekiel Vs. Technology

They gathered around the edges of the steaming crater to watch for any signs of life.

"I think that's all of them," said Strange, after a few circuits of the diameter. "I mean, when that thing overloaded--"

"Boom?" suggested Gamma.

"More like 'whumph'. Do we even know what they were doing with a freeze-ray?"

"They're Vapulans," Ezekiel said. "Do they _need_ a reason?" He straightened his tie, and pulled out a handkerchief. Began to wipe his hands clean of blood. "Explaining away the crater will be entertaining."

"Time to get the cars," Zif said, and the two Ofanim rushed off to take care of that. "That much disturbance, and we're liable to have people investigating from miles away."

Mannie took a few steps back from the crater, hands in his pockets. "It was an interesting design. Pathetically flawed, but interesting. I might put together a prototype with fewer flaws in the power-channeling mechanisms and see what I can do with that."

"Still playing with Vapulan toys, I see."

Mannie gave the Malakite a sharp look. "Are you always this unpleasant to coworkers, or is it just me?"

"Only to those who deserve it."

Zif stifled a sigh, and hustled both of them into the back seat of Gamma's car. "I'll ride with Strange, and catch up with you back at the Tether. Play nicely with each other."

They waited until the car had begun moving (a very small period of time, with an Ofanite at the wheel) to resume glaring at each other.

"If you insist on reading my honor for old misdeeds--"

"This has nothing to do with what I can read."

Mannie blinked. "Wait. Have we met? I mean, before...." He gestured vaguely.

"You...don't remember."

"Well. No. Not particularly. I've encountered several Malakim, in various circumstances, many of them of Lightning. I don't even know if you were wearing the same vessel at the time, considering how quickly your Choir runs through those. That, and it's possible the encounter's not one I remember. I've lost the odd Ethereal Force here and there along the way."

"And how do you like _that_?" Ezekiel fiddled with one of his knives. "See how it's like--"

"It happens."

"...it _happens_?"

"Well. Yes. I've lost Forces on, ah, four separate occasions that I recall. Though only on the first occasion was it more than one at a time. Unpleasant, but there are many things in life which are unpleasant." Mannie shrugged. "I'll apologize for whatever it is that I did to you, if you can remind me of the circumstances."

"You ripped off one of my Forces!"

"That's not really narrowing it down, Ezekiel."

The Malakite gritted his teeth. "About...two decades back."

"Still not very narrow."

"How many Malakim have you gone into celestial combat with anyway?"

"In the last fifty years? Quite a few. Corporeal combat isn't my strong point." Mannie pulled out one of his notebooks. "Give me a few more clues, and I'll see if I can narrow this down."

The Malakite counted to ten. Said, slightly more calmly, "It was in Iowa."

"That at least reduces the possibilities."

"And you were working on these idiotic deathtraps--"

"Ah, _those_. One of the stupider projects I was ever assigned to. Not the worst, but in the top five." Mannie crossed out a few names on his list. "That narrows it down to two. Who were you attempting to rescue?"

"A Seraph--"

"Ah! Niele."

Ezekiel paused. "You...remember her?"

"Certainly. Most interesting person I ran across in the entire course of that project. Much more polite than most captives, given the circumstances, and the most pleasant Seraph I'd ever spoken with. I was disappointed not to see her a third time, but I can understand if you feel differently about the matter. So, yes, I do recall that fight. Sorry about the Force. What is Niele up to these days?"

"...sorry about the Force? That's all you have to say?"

"Well," Mannie said, putting the notebook away, "I could apologize in more detail, but I didn't think you wanted to recap the entire fight. Given how badly you were losing."

"I was...only slightly losing."

"Ezekiel. How many Celestial Forces did you have at the time?"

"...two."

"I had five. You were not _slightly_ losing." Mannie leaned back in the seat, hands behind his head. "In any case, I apologize. While you were the one who attacked, I could have returned to my Heart without engaging you further. So. What is Niele doing these days?"

"Working in a research lab. Marine biology." Ezekiel looked out his window. "She's...um. Studying sharks."

The Malakite was relieved when the Lilim didn't snicker.

"I ought to stop by and say hello, at some point," Mannie said. "She never seemed to hold a grudge about unavoidable conflicts arising from our disparate employers."

"You dropped her into a spiked pit! Full of sharks!"

"Yes, but it wasn't personal." Mannie drummed out a quiet rhythm on the seat between them. "I should have taken her up on her first offer. Would have saved me a great deal of trouble later on. Would you pass on my greetings the next time you see her?"

"...yes." Ezekiel sulked in silence the rest of the way back to the Tether, while Mannie sketched out freeze-ray modification plans.

#

Niele surfaced from the tank, shaking water out of her hair. "How are the readings looking?"

The intern standing over the readouts gave her a thumbs-up. "Everything's checking out! Looks like we ought to get at least eight pups out of this one, barring complications. Maybe a few more if those weaker signs hold out."

"Excellent." The Seraph stripped off her scuba gear, and gathered up a towel from the stack at the edge of the tank. "Send copies of the data to my computer and Dr. Nawson's, please."

The aforementioned Dr. Nawson stepped out from inside the lab. "Nelly? Your boyfriend's here to see you."

"Really? I wasn't expecting to see Zeke today." She finished toweling off her hair, and slipped on sandals. "I'll go to lunch early."

She found him lurking just inside the entrance door, dressed properly for his Role but looking slightly...distressed. "Zeke," she said, and kissed him on the cheek. "Is there something wrong?"

"Just wanted to stop by and see you," he said. Not entirely true.

She looped one arm into his, and took him outside, down to the beach to walk along the shoreline. "So," she said, once they were well out of earshot of any potential listeners, "what brings you down on a weekday?"

The Malakite visibly worked through a few different responses before settling on one. "Remember that insane Vapulan Lilim we ran into back in Iowa?"

"The one with the attack corn?"

"No, no, the one with the deathtraps."

"Oh, Mannie. Of course I remember him. Have you run into him again?"

"In a manner of speaking." Ezekiel rubbed the back of his head. "He's. Um. Working for the Boss, now. The last several months. And asked me to say hello."

"That's marvelous!"

"No it's not!" Ezekiel wrapped his fingers tight into hers. "He's an arrogant ex-Vapulan who tried to _kill you_ on two separate occasions. Now they expect me to _work_ with him. And he keeps going and changing the standard plans to suit what he thinks would work better--"

"My dear Virtue. Who do you work for?"

He stopped, and blinked at her. "Lightning."

"Not War?"

"Heavens, no."

"Then what are you doing holding grudges after the issue has been resolved?"

The Malakite sighed. "You have such a way with words."

"I wish you'd told me sooner, so that I could have sent a welcoming card or something. I always did have hopes for that one." Niele kissed Ezekiel lightly. "Would you do me favor, if you'll be seeing him soon?"

"Always."

"Would you ask him to write up the details of that second deathtrap for me, and send them along? I'm still burning with curiosity on the matter. Send him my regards, and my thanks for an introduction to sharks." She smiled at Ezekiel. "Fascinating creatures."


	4. Niele Vs. Technology, Yet Again

Niele would have been annoyed at the indignity of being suspended by her ankles if she hadn't been so concerned with the vat of...some unidentified chemical substance below her. It was bubbling. It smelled dreadful. And if she were lowered about five more centimeters, her vessel's haircut would be ruined.

Assuming she had a vessel left to worry about at all.

The demon down on the floor coughed. "Now. If you'd follow with me through this presentation--"

"You made a PowerPoint presentation about your deathtrap?"

The demon blinked. In his bug-eyed and pudgy little vessel, it made him look rather like a large goldfish. "...no, it's about my plan to destroy San Diego. But. Well. Yes. PowerPoint seemed appropriate. Very user-friendly. Plenty of relevant clip art."

"Oh. Do continue." Niele surreptitiously yanked at the chains around her hands, and wished she'd taken that one Windy up on his offer to teach her techniques for freeing oneself from bindings. At the time she'd turned it down as too much hassle to prepare for unlikely situations. This now struck her as an over-optimistic appraisal of the future.

He scurried over to the wall to pull down a white screen, and began fiddling with his laptop. "Just a moment while the introductory animations work through... Are you surprised, then, that I would reveal to you my master plan? My great and mighty triumph?"

"Not very." Niele considered this for a moment. "The use of PowerPoint was a slight surprise, but I suppose even Vapulans move along with the times."

"Not _with_ the times, my dear. Ahead of the times! Always ahead! Why, I lead the way with my cunning and invincible army of..." He paused to click on to the next slide. "Robo-ninjas!"

Niele stared at the slide.

"You found clip art for robo-ninjas?"

"Oh. No, not that piece. I had a friend who works for Media put that picture together for me. Back when I was working on the prototypes." The demon frowned to himself. "That _was_ a few years back, but the first prototype was mysteriously damaged on its first test run. I've improved the design since I took over the project. Far superior abilities to detect long drops and avoid them." He clicked on to the next slide. "Behold, the sleepy Californian town of San Diego! Laying unaware of the dangers that await it!"

"Lying."

"Excuse me?"

"Lying. Not laying. For San Diego to be laying, it would have to be actively engaged in the process of laying something else down. The appropriate word in that context is 'lying'. And I could debate your assessment of San Diego as 'sleepy' considering the level of commerce and activity found in the city."

The image on the screen switched again. "As I was _saying_ , the sleepy city of San Diego lay--waits unaware of the dangers that...um. Await it! In its waiting! Unaware--" The demon sighed. "You've completely thrown off my speech. Do you intend to quibble over every slide I put up?"

Niele examined the cartoon image of stick figures standing around looking bored and puzzled, with the caption "Entirely Unaware!" written in 3-D purple letters above. "This is a distinct possibility. Would you like to start over? Or perhaps you could do two runs through, incorporating my suggestions on the second run."

"I am not incorporating any suggestions! I do not need help from anyone! My plans are perfect!"

"Well. Except for the joint design on the machines. Very sloppy. Bound to wear out quickly, especially under the high-stress situations you suggest." Mannie strolled into the room, hands in his jacket pockets. "From what I've seen of the examples in that storage area, you still haven't fixed the issue. Send them down a few flights of stairs and you'll have limbs falling off left and right."

The demon twitched, and scrambled away from the computer, some nasty-looking weapon in his hand. "You!"

"Well. Yes. Me." Mannie shrugged, and didn't pause in his walking. "And...is that a presentation on your plan? Always did have more flair than brains."

"I do _not_! Did not! I mean..."

Niele considered calling out to Mannie. Decided against it, and dangled quietly. Wrinkled her nose at the fumes, which were growing ever stronger around her.

"And look at this! You call this the proper way to dispose of someone who's stumbled across your master plan?" Mannie shook his head. "Pathetic. You'd be lucky to even do her in."

"That formula dissolves flesh in minutes! It's a _perfect_ plan. Once I'm done explaining this to her, I'll simply lower her by means of a crank--"

"That one, over by the tank?"

"Right. Head-first into the vat of formula, and even if it doesn't finish dissolving her flesh, she'll drown. How could this go wrong?"

Niele had certain ideas on that matter, mostly related to the distant sounds of crashing beyond the door, but decided to keep these ideas to herself. Besides, the fumes from the vat were being...distracting.

Mannie sighed. "Look. Let me give you a hint on how to _properly_ dispose of enemies." He slung one arm over the demon's shoulders. "So. Someone comes snooping around the base, right?"

"Right."

"And stumbles across incriminating evidence, sure to send them running off to alert authorities."

"Right."

"But you manage to capture them first. What do you do next?"

"Tie them up and dangle them over a vat of flesh-dissolving acid, and then revel in their captivity and the perfection of my master plan before lowering them the rest of the way?"

Mannie pulled his other hand out of his pocket, and shot the demon between the eyes. "No, you bloody moron, you _shoot_ them. What are they _teaching_ the Vapulans these days?"

Niele cleared her throat. "Do you find it appropriate to give useful advice to the enemy?"

"He would have figured it out eventually." He strolled over to the crank, stowing away his gun. "I'm not sure I can crank you back up with this. Can you hold out a few more minutes until Ezekiel catches up?"

"I believe so, though I seem to be turning giddy from the fumes." Niele swung herself around to face him, and found herself twisting back and forth from the chains. "Is that who's making all that noise outside?"

"Yes, I left him to deal with the robo-ninjas." Mannie crouched down to examine a set of controls next to the crank. "I suppose I could have told him about how to activate their no-threat filters and be ignored, but he seemed to be having so much fun, I decided not to ruin the moment."

"You've seen this project before, then?"

"Encountered it, yes. It wasn't something I was working on myself." He removed the cover from the panel, and began deftly picking out wires. "We have to stop meeting like this. Or at least vary it. Meet for coffee once in a while, between the deathtraps. Not that this is much of one."

"No sharks?"

"Or molten lead. Or sudden drops. I suppose a slow lowering has a certain dramatic effect all its own." Mannie finished with the wires, set the cover back on, and flicked a switch. A cover slid over the vat, cutting off the fumes that were starting to make the room spin around Niele. Or was that just the twisting of the chain she'd been suspended from? It was strangely difficult to tell. "There we go." He pulled himself up onto the vat's cover, and tapped it with one foot. "Seems sturdy enough."

"I would have preferred sharks," Niele said, and giggled. "Always did like sharks. Poor little sharkies! I felt very bad about those sharks, you know."

Mannie dropped back down the ground, and raised one eyebrow at her. "Strange injections, or just the fumes?"

"Just the fumes, I believe." Niele watched her hair hit the cover to the vat as Mannie began to crank her down. "Ooo. I won't have to cut my hair after all. And there are no sharks to eat it down there! Not that sharks are generally fond of hair. It's not a significant source of protein for them. Did you know that?"

"Not specifically, though I believe I could have guessed." He climbed back onto the cover once she was lying flat on it, and began to clip chain links free with a tiny device from his pocket. "I suspect we ought to get a sample of what's inside this tank, in case it has any long term effects on a vessel. Unlikely, but it's hard to tell, with Vapulans."

"You would know. But not anymore! That is, you're not a Vapulan anymore. But you would still know, wouldn't you?" Niele clambered to her feet, and clung to Mannie's shoulder. "You don't do anything awful to sharks anymore, do you? Because if you did, I'd have to be upset, and I'd rather not be."

"Rest assured, I've done nothing awful to sharks in years." He helped her climb down from the tank, and Niele appreciated this, because her feet didn't seem to be moving quite the way she meant them to.

"That's true. That's good. You ought to tell the truth. It's more holy."

"Ah. Niele, I think you should...sit down, for a few moments." He led her to a bit of the floor with no demon-vessel-blood across it, very considerate of him. "Wait right here."

"Okay!" Sitting was much better than dangling. Though the room was still...spinning. Very slowly. Back and forth. Or was it around and around?

Mannie stood up, and searched through his pockets. "Thought I had one of these around somewhere... Back from the last time Kai and Nosha decided to drag me bar-crawling for no reason I can yet understand... Ah. Here we go." He crouched down in front of her, and presented her with a shiny golden pill. "Swallow this."

"Okay!" Niele grabbed the pill from his hand with her teeth, gulped it down. "Oh, wait. Vessel. I have hands! I could have picked it up."

"...ah. Yes." He stood up again. "Let's just...give that a few moments to take effect."

Niele nodded brightly.

Her head felt very fuzzy.

And then very, _dreadfully_ clear.

"...ow."

"Truer words were seldom spoken." He offered her a hand up, and she accepted it. "Marvelous for removing lingering effects on the system, less than pleasant on the head. I'm afraid I don't carry around painkillers for Seraphim. Not my department."

"...ow." She could walk straight again, though she wasn't sure she wanted to. "We ought to make sure Ezekiel is safe."

"He was having a marvelous time last I saw, but not a bad idea."

They found the Malakite standing in the midst of a tangled mess of broken machinery, sword in hand. "Niele!" Ezekiel tried to dash in her direction, found that the mess he'd created turned _dash_ into _carefully step over sharp pointy bits on the floor._ "Are you okay?"

"No more physical damage than a headache. Mannie got me out of there." And she frowned at Ezekiel's look.

Mannie shrugged, and...smiled. "You've already rescued her twice. It was my turn."

"The last two times she needed rescuing _because_ of you--"

"My dear Virtue," Niele said, "drop it." She turned to Mannie. "Thank you for the help. The next time we meet, how about we do so without any deathtraps involved? Or mad scientists, present company excepted."

"I wholeheartedly approve of this plan. Coffee, some time?"

"I'd be glad to."

Mannie nodded. "I'll collect that demon's computer. It might be useful." And he wandered away, leaving them alone.

"Niele--"

"Drop it, Ezekiel. You don't get to rescue me all the time." She kissed him quickly, and grinned. "Besides. I'm going to ask him to stop by where I work to pick me up for coffee. I can introduce him to what _I_ work on these days."

Ezekiel's eyes narrowed. "You're planning on doing something dreadfully amusing yet harmless to him with sharks involved, aren't you?"

"And if I said yes?"

"...would you play the recording for me later?"


	5. Kai Vs. Technology

"You realize Zif will kill you when she finds out you ran off without telling her," Ezekiel said, as Mannie finished dismantling the exterior security system.

"She can't kill me. She's attuned to me." Mannie stood up, and adjusted the strap on the weapon slung over his shoulder. "Besides, I was in a hurry. She'll understand."

"I'm surprised they revived this project," Niele said, and moved toward the door once Ezekiel had given the entrance a thorough check. "It never seemed like the sort of idea that would stand up to scrutiny, once the first few reports were submitted."

"Practical results were incidental," Mannie said. He put up a hand in front of Niele. "A moment." Fiddled with the controls for his sunglasses, and said, "We need to remove the sensors from around that doorway, or something unpleasant may occur. I'll take care of it. Shoot anything that shows up, would you?"

"If they weren't looking for results, what was the point of that research project?" Niele watched as he begun to work around the doorframe. "Watch out for the pressure detection strips."

"Ah, so I see. Thank you. The research was a pet project of the Demon of Mad Scientists, who felt this was an important component of the battle against the Host. Not that any of us who were assigned to it ever agreed. It had faint potential for useful results, though I doubt any of those--" He broke off for a moment to concentrate. "I don't believe I can remove these without setting off at least one. I recommend an alternative route."

"What alternative route? It's an underground bunker," Ezekiel said, and if he could suppress a certain amount of irritation for it not being _his_ friend trapped in the depths of this lab, he was never one to be more polite than required. "If you've found another door, by all means, share the news with the rest of the class."

"Found a new door? No." Mannie stood up, and swung the weapon down into his hands. "I suggest we make one."

"That will surely alert them to our presence," Niele said.

"Of course it will. But it won't trigger all the defenses that are tied into _that_ doorway. Given the time constraints, we may prefer to distract any inhabitants." Mannie tapped the controls on his sunglasses, and the lenses shaded black. "You might not want to look for a moment."

There was a very bright flash of light.

And two more.

And then the three angels stepped through the hole in the wall, avoiding the still not-quite-solid bits of fused metal around the edges.

"Direct," Ezekiel said. "I'll grant you that much. Which way?"

"Down, and ahead. By the feel of it...maybe three stories? Let's find the stairs."

They evaded or dismantled the lingering security systems inside the halls as they moved along. None of it was so tricky as the sensors on the door, though they did pass several rooms with interesting seals, which presumably would have been activated had they triggered those sensors.

At the bottom of the third set of stairs, the found themselves looking out into a large room filled with broken equipment and gnawed bones. A woman in a white lab coat on the far side of the room laughed madly, and pointed. "Away, my minions! Kill!"

A half-dozen malformed dogs lunged forward, snarling, and their eyes were bright patches of electronics.

"Now that's just cruel," Niele said, and she sang.

The dogs paused, whimpered, and then flopped down about her feet. One snuffled at her hand.

"Um," said the Vapulan on the far side of the room. "They're supposed to be more vicious than that."

Niele crouched down to pat the dogs. "Poor dogs. You shouldn't do things like that to animals. Or to anyone else. I believe I'm a bit annoyed at you, right now."

"They're just dogs--" the Vapulan began, but her intended sentence didn't get a chance to finish, what with several bullets from Ezekiel's gun going through her head.

"And that was a bit hasty," Niele said, but there was only the slightest touch of reproach in it. She unfastened the dense circuitry-packed collars from each dog in turn, and scratched them behind the ears. "Are you going to go all vicious on me once the Song wears off, hmm? Probably, with someone like that having made you. Poor things." She fished a small needle-tipped tube out of her pocket. "I hope they aren't so altered as to have a negative reaction to these sedatives."

Ezekiel finished reloading. "I'm sure you'll be able to work it out once you get them back to the lab, if you have to sing them into cooperation the whole way there."

Mannie walked through the door on the opposite side of the room. "Catch up when you have the chance, then. Time limit, remember?"

Ezekiel rolled his eyes. "He says this like we're dawdling."

"Shush, dear. You'd be equally anxious if I were the one down there." She finished injecting the last dog, gave it one last scratch behind the ears, and stood up. "I'll admit it's a pleasant change of pace to _not_ be for once, uncharitable though that may be."

They caught up with Mannie as he worked on the lock for another door. "Almost there," he said, and then muttered something. "It's a bloody _mechanical_ lock. I don't have time to deal with this. Ezekiel, would you mind just shooting it out?"

"Thought you'd never ask." And the Malakite began shooting _slightly_ after Mannie had moved out of the way. Kicked down the door, and spun inside with his gun out.

"Hey," said the young woman inside, looking up from where she was crouched over a hole in the ground. "Would you believe he was right? Piranhas can strip a body down to the bones in under five minutes! Or at least it looks like they're on schedule to get there in time."

Ezekiel lowered his gun. "Kai? We...um."

"Were coming to rescue me? Great! It's nice to know people care." She darted over to give Mannie a hug, and Niele was quietly amused to see the way the Bright Lilim caught the Ofanite up in his arms. "Took care of it myself, but I appreciate the thought. And, hey, they let you play with the _big_ guns this time."

"I borrowed it," Mannie said. "For certain values of 'borrow' that don't include letting anyone know I was taking it. They probably won't mind much if I return it soon."

Niele walked over to the pit to look down inside. "Jets of flame? I haven't seen those used in a deathtrap before."

Kai detached herself to run over to the edge. "And, see, spikes that jab out of the walls at irregular intervals, so you can't predict when they'll be coming!"

"Actually, they seem to be following a simple pattern based on the Fibonacci Sequence."

"So it's not random? How disappointing. That slide show _lied_ to me." Kai crossed her arms. "I mean, not that one ought to trust Vapulans in general, but you'd think that if they're going to go ahead and present the whole deathtrap to me, they'd at least make sure they had their facts straight."

Niele crouched down to look more closely. "I'll admit some surprise that, having presumably designed this trap himself, he was unable to escape from it."

"That's probably because I hit him over the head with the projector before shoving him into the pit. Or it might have been from bouncing off the wall on the way down. It's probably not from the last part of the fall, what with the water being there already and everything." Kai bounced on her heels. "Or it could be from when I kicked the whatever it was he was trying to spray at me around and into his face. Hard to tell, really."

"I probably shouldn't have underestimated your propensity towards chaos," Mannie said, and picked up the computer lying on the floor. "...Kai, why are these fields filled out with information about a Vapulan?"

"Well, as long as he was going into the trap, I figured I ought to make sure the data was recorded. In case it might be useful later. So I filled out answers I was sure of, and left the rest blank. Though I can't think of what research like that would be useful for. Incidentally, there's another demon around here somewhere, if you haven't met her already. Raises dogs, makes dramatic speeches."

"I believe we encountered that one," Ezekiel said. He holstered his gun. "Well. That takes care of that. Let's get moving. We'll want to call for a truck with a sealed back compartment for transporting those dogs."

"You got the dogs taken care of without hurting them? Keen. I was hoping I could get them out on my way upstairs." Kai went skipping back towards Mannie. "Do you think I could get one of those too? Because I don't know what that does, but it looks impressive."

"I suspect not," Mannie said.

"I certainly _hope_ not," Ezekiel muttered.

"We'll need a tank," Niele said. "We're too far from my work to have one sent from that aquarium, but I'm sure we can find a way to acquire one in short order."

"You...want to save the piranhas too? Niele--"

"My dear Virtue, if you're about to tell me that's not worth the trouble it would take, I'd like to ask you to reconsider your words."

Ezekiel sighed. Pulled out an ordinary cell phone. "No reception this far down. I'll call around once we get back topside."

"Thank you." She watched the fish swarming down below, her view occasionally blocked by the spikes or jets of flame. "At least they're well-fed."


End file.
